We all want something.

Maybe it’s a new business, a creative project, or a career we squeeze into whatever time we can find. Perhaps in our home, we want a calmer rhythm, more cooperation, and a space that feels easy to maintain.

Sometimes we get there.

Other times, plans fall through or feel out of reach.

It’s a topic I wanted to explore further with Jo, one of my Substack favorites, who recently experienced that range of emotions.

What I love about Jo’s work is that her enthusiasm and drive are palpable.

Jo writes for women building their dreams alongside motherhood. She shares what it means to enjoy the life you have whilst going after everything you want, something I strive for with my organizing clients at home too.

When I read her post Someone Else Signed the Lease on My Daydream, her journey through wanting, waiting, and figuring out what comes next felt familiar. It’s similar to what families experience when they work with me: wanting more order in their home, waiting for everyone to get on board, and finding a way forward when they run into a challenge or have to let something go.

Together, we explored those crossovers. Here’s our conversation.

Ann: Before we dive in, I’d love to start with understanding the wanting itself. We spend so much energy meeting the needs and wants for our kids, but when it comes to our own, we often wait until everything else is done, which can mean never.

What does wanting, or ambition, mean to you, and has it changed since becoming a mom?

Jo: Prior to having children, I wouldn’t have said that I was very ambitious. I had little sparks of ideas here and there, that would pop up mainly on my long commute home from work. The moment I stepped through the front door and into my flat, I’d forget all about them.

However in this current chapter of my life after having children, it feels like I’ve opened some sort of magic portal. I’m more hungry to move forward with my ideas than ever before and it’s not only for me, but also to encourage my children to see how possible it is to go after things they want in life.

I now write down any thoughts and ideas I have as soon as they arrive into my mind, just to make sure I don’t forget about them. I also research a lot, weigh up the pros and cons and if the whole idea makes sense, I go all in.

Ambition to me is an intense desire. It’s an itch that I need to scratch. It’s a goal that I can’t stop thinking about. A feeling that never leaves my thoughts, even after a good night of sleep, it waits patiently for me at the breakfast table.

Ann: I can relate. It’s that internal motivation, like something connects and lights me up.

And I see this with families too. Parents hire me because they want a home that’s free of clutter, and often, to pass those skills down to their children. That becomes a deeper emotional drive, more than a task to cross off their list.

What’s interesting is that almost every time I finish working with parents, their children become curious and ask how they can do the same with their bedroom. It’s kind of funny how they end up motivating each other.

So, as a busy mom, how have you made room for how you want to spend your time, and for all the ideas in your notebook?

Jo: Towards the end of 2025, I took a very ruthless and hard look at my life and habits. From where I was spending my time during a normal day, to what I would like to stop doing and also start doing, going forward into the new year.

Some of my day to day tasks I couldn’t completely stop doing but, I could cut them down to what was necessary, from constant cleaning to washing clothes and hoovering. Then in my free time I evaluated what I was doing there, which tended to be watching TV, reading the news and endlessly scrolling. I saw these activities that were stopping my growth and they were keeping me hostage! I cut them all down massively which meant I had time to prioritize my dreams in 2026.

I still check the news for a couple of minutes in the morning and the evening. I’ve blocked a lot of news websites on my phone so I can’t doomscroll. I don’t really watch tv as boring as that might sound. I might watch a film with my family on the weekend or a YouTube video when I’m cooking. Nowadays I only scroll good content, which I have trained the algorithm to show me, because it does spark my creativity. However I always bear in mind the idea of, consume less, create more!

Ann: It sounds like you’ve been very intentional about where your time and energy go. I love helping families do the same at home. When we clear what’s taking up space, it gives back time and energy, and sometimes room for something new, like a cozy reading nook in a corner once taken up by clutter.

And consuming less, creating more is something I love sharing with kids. When they make things to play with, letting go of toys gets a little easier, knowing they can be resourceful.

Still, saying goodbye can be hard, especially when it’s something we really wanted. Which brings me to the story that inspired this conversation.

Can you share a little about that and what went through your mind?

Jo: A couple of months ago I came up with the idea that I needed to open a lovely little cozy bookshop in my local village. After going all in and researching until the early hours of the morning, it struck me that I had to make it happen. There aren’t any local independent book shops near me and I really didn’t want to buy a second hand book online from a large company.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, my husband was driving through the village and he noticed that the shop unit that I had been eyeing up was turning into another yoga studio…

I was absolutely gutted and my husband knew I would be, because every time I had walked past that empty carcass of a shop, it made me smile and we had talked about my ideas and the dream I had. I was by no means in a position to rent the unit, but I was in the research phase and was gaining an understanding of how it could all work, piece by piece, day by day. In my mind, it had begun to feel like a possibility and now the rug had been pulled from underneath me, unexpectedly, because the shop unit had been empty for months.

Ann: That gutted feeling when a door closes before you’ve had the chance to walk through it can be so disappointing and discouraging.

My readers might relate. They imagine an organized home, then look around their small, cluttered apartment, and it’s easy to decide that having order is a nice idea but out of reach. Even when they’ve researched containers, saved Pinterest boards, and pictured their kids helping out, seeing the mess on the kitchen counter while the kids are crying because they can’t find their things can make that reality feel so heavy.

Usually, that’s where I guide families to lean into those feelings. Is one person carrying most of the responsibility? Do they need a different kind of system or routine? When we look deeper at the problem, it becomes clearer which way to move forward.

So how do you decide whether to keep pursuing what you want, change direction, or let it go?

Jo: As tough as it was to have the dream taken away before I had taken the first step, I reminded myself that yes the shop now had a whole new identity but, that was just one shop, there is actually another empty shop in the village. In fact, there are MANY empty shops waiting to become book shops.

If a goal has slipped away for whatever reason, the first step is to really assess how much you truly want it.

If you can’t imagine life without it or you can’t stop thinking about it, how could you pivot, what’s your glass half full scenario? Could you keep going?

But if you’re not too bothered, that’s your answer, and you can put your energy into the dreams that do keep you up at night.

Ann: I completely agree. This is like one of the questions I ask families when deciding what to keep: if an object broke or got lost, would you replace it? If the answer is yes, it matters. If you hesitate, that’s useful information too.

What stood out to me in your story is that you were able to step back and look at the bigger picture, and you didn’t let disappointment become how the story ends. If anything, the loss gave you more conviction and helped you see the potential.

What do you think helped you come back to what matters when things didn’t turn out?

Jo: Small returns are important. I think the first thing is remembering why you wanted something in the first place. It’s so easy to let disappointment make and take the decisions away from you. Feeling annoyed and frustrated is totally normal, especially when you’ve put so much thought, love and energy into an idea.

When I heard about the yoga studio, I could have decided that my bookshop dream was done… But why? Just because one shop is unavailable, my dream should stop??

I decided against it and I reminded myself of what I still wanted and started looking at what the next step might be… I don’t want to look back at my life with regrets and wishing I’d tried harder to make something happen.

If there’s one thing I’d like other women to remember, it’s that you don’t have to give up on an entire dream just because one of the puzzle pieces doesn’t quite fit. Turn it round and see if you can slot it in another way.

The shop in the village I had my heart set on has unfortunately gone, BUT my bookshop dream is still very much on the table.

Ann: I love that perspective. A dream doesn’t have to end when one piece falls through. It can take a different shape.

I’ve seen this with clients who had to downsize and let go of many things. Their space looked different, but their dream of an organized home where the family could feel safe and build memories together stayed the same.

The most important part is to focus on the why, then zoom out to find a path we hadn’t noticed before. And when our kids watch us do that, they learn that we don’t have to stay stuck. Being flexible opens us up to new possibilities.

Thank you, Jo, for sharing your story, and reminding us that we can want something and let ourselves imagine it. And if it doesn’t turn out the way we pictured, what comes next is where the growth happens.

If you enjoyed Jo’s writing, you can find more at Your Precious Seconds.

If you’ve been wanting a calmer, more organized home and help getting your family on board, I’d love to talk. Book a free Connection Call with me.

November has always felt like a time for me to reflect on the year and notice what I feel grateful for as the year comes to a close. I’m genuinely so thankful for the Substack friendships I’ve made this year. It’s incredible how this community continues to be so supportive and inspiring. I hope that’s been your experience as well.

A recent celebration worth noting

Last month, I had a big project working with a client who has shared more than once how our work together has changed her life. Over the years, she’s trusted me to help her set up and later move out of her NYC apartments, to organize her home outside the city over several weekend intensives, and most recently to set up systems for her business showroom.

It’s rare to be able to walk alongside someone through so many major milestones in life. I don’t take these opportunities for granted, and I know I’ve grown as well through the process.

I also want to celebrate my first paid subscriber, someone who found me organically on this platform and chose to support my work. And from a father, too, which I love because parenting tips don’t only apply to moms.

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And most recently, I had the fun of being a guest on live radio! A station in Calgary, Canada came across my Halloween candy post, a fair, child-empowering approach to handling the candy haul, and invited me on to share it. I’m so grateful for the opportunity. The hosts weren’t totally sold on my tip, so I’d love to know what you think after you listen to the segment.

A challenge worth noting

Last week, I was relieved when a Container Store delivery arrived for a client. I was overseeing the project from top to bottom, so I accepted the big order and made sure everything was accounted for. Then, with one change to their plans, all of it came undone.

I felt anxious and frustrated, but I also know that finding my way back to steady doesn’t mean ignoring the anxiety. I can notice the feeling and understand why it’s there. Then I ask, “What’s the next step I can take to move things toward my goal?” That question always points me forward.

A commitment worth noting

My work with my client in Japan continues to move forward. Her progress has been real and meaningful, and I’m committed to seeing her all the way through to feeling settled and at home in her space. When we’re done, I’m excited to write a 3-part series of my journey with her and her son, from Brooklyn to just outside the city, to Japan.

I’m also finishing up collaborations with two lovely writers on Substack — Sinem and Jo — and I’m genuinely excited for what’s coming as we head into winter.

One final note

If you’ve never worked with a home organizer before, or you’re not sure what that would even look like for your family, I’d be happy to answer any questions and share what I bring to an organizing session: the whole family’s participation, and results that actually last.

You can book a 15-minute Connection Call, or simply DM me. No pressure, just a conversation.

❤️
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I expected some tension. It wasn’t there.

They were warm with each other, easy and funny.

After speaking with them, I was elated to see how seriously they were taking this new chapter. They wanted a strong foundation before life got more complicated, and I admired that so much.

They lived in a one-bedroom apartment, small, but adequate. Honestly, when I saw their before photos, I was surprised. It didn’t look like they needed help at all.

I also know that sometimes the rooms look calm, but the stress lives inside the closets and cabinets. And as we talked, the fuller picture came through.

One partner found it fairly easy to let things go and was raised to keep clean. The other grew up with parents who held on to too much, and didn’t feel confident in making decisions on what to let go.

They had bought bins. They tidied for 5 or 10 minutes every night. Sometimes, when the anxiety got high enough, they’d get ruthless and throw everything out at once or move things into a rental storage unit.

And still, the mess would creep back in, especially in the kitchen since they both cook. They felt anxious and always behind. One of them shared something her mom used to say, that your space is a reflection of how you care for yourself. You could hear how much weight that carried.

Why a therapist?

This wasn’t the first time a therapist sent someone my way, and I’m grateful every time. It tells me more clinicians see what I see: the home is part of the emotional picture.

In a well-known UCLA study, researchers had dual-income spouses give video tours of their own homes, then tracked stress hormone levels and mood over the next three weekdays. For wives who described their homes as cluttered, stress hormone levels stayed higher through the day instead of dropping, a pattern linked to chronic stress and poorer long-term health.

Couples feel it too. In one national survey, 48 percent of American couples who were married or living together said they argue over clutter.

That’s part of why preparing ahead matters.

Research by Scott Stanley and colleagues found that premarital education was linked to about a 31 percent lower divorce rate, along with higher marital satisfaction and fewer destructive conflicts.

This couple was doing exactly that kind of preparation. They wanted to get ahead of it together.

Where we started: a vision

Before we touched a single item, we created a vision together. I asked what they wanted home to feel like and what a good day there looks like.

They described:

• Natural light, clear counters, open floor space

• The smell of banana bread baking

• Rain and city sounds outside

• Journaling, reading, lots of books, fresh flowers

• The dog chewing a toy while they watch a show together on the couch

The words they kept returning to were tranquil, warm, joyful, and at ease.

Then I asked what it would mean for them to live that more often. One wanted to recharge without feeling pulled to keep cleaning. The other said it would be wonderful to feel capable and hopeful that things can change.

They told me they already felt close in many areas of their relationship. The organizing was the missing piece.

That vision became our compass.

Every decision after that went back to it.

How we got there

We started with their clothing and worked through each category from there, so nothing got missed. Each one gave them practice deciding what to keep and what to let go, and with practice came more clarity on what matters to them as a couple.

Then I got to know how they actually live.

Mornings started slow. We set up a coffee station and gave them a spot in the living room to meditate and journal. Everything for the dog’s walk is accessible in a cabinet by the door.

Work days happen at home for both of them, which is a lot to ask of a one-bedroom. We created two separate spots for calls, and put all their gym gear in one drawer so a workout is easy to fit in.

Evenings are for connecting and reading. We sorted their books between the living room and the bedroom, so the ones they read before sleep live right by the bed.

Weekends are for baking and slow living. The small appliances they used often stayed on the counter, and we even got the tools out to customize a slide-out shelf so the stand mixer fits in a kitchen cabinet.

Every space traced back to their vision. Each piece came from listening to them, then problem-solving together.

Looking back, I can see why their nightly tidying never held. The bins and the 10-minute resets were working on the surface. What changed things was connecting four pieces: what each of them carried emotionally about their things, a vision they shared, how they really spend their days, and the skills to keep going without me.

That’s why the results last.

Three years later

They’re married now, and they have a child. I haven’t heard from them for help, and that’s the best outcome I can hope for. It means they have the skills.

Every so often I see them on social media, cooking in their kitchen. The counter still looks just the way we set it up. It makes me smile every time.

Here’s what my clients wrote:

“Working and learning from Ann has changed our lives for the better. The process, from start to finish, was integrated, holistic, pragmatic, and thoughtful. We went from feeling stressed and anxious around our belongings to content, at peace, and confident in our ability to make decisions for our family. Our home is now organized and we understand the system that got us there, which we can turn to for years and years to come. Hiring Ann was one of the best investments we’ve ever made as a couple and we’re so grateful for her patience, generosity, kindness, and wisdom!”

Coming back to that first call

What stays with me is how much intention they brought, treating each decision as part of building a life together.

Organizing together gave them more than clear counters. They practiced noticing, deciding, and following through as a team. They carried that into their marriage, and now into parenthood.

Whether you’re like this couple preparing for a new chapter, or noticing your home is part of the friction, it may be time to look at what’s not aligned. Book a free Connection Call, and we’ll see if I’m the right fit. If I’m not, I’ll point you in the right direction.

Let's talk about it

Sources:

• UCLA study on clutter, mood, and cortisol

• Couples arguing over clutter survey

• Premarital education and divorce rates

• Stanley’s findings on marital satisfaction

The ideas in the video still hold. Looking back, they were the beginnings of what became the Dooley Method:

• Nurture connection through shared activity

• Foster decision-making skills

• Model resourcefulness

• Practice delayed gratification

When trick-or-treating, it’s natural for kids to think more is better and to compare with their siblings.

This can lead to tears and sibling rivalry that turn a happy outing into meltdowns, often made worse by the sugar rush.

For parents, seeing your children dress up and feel all that excitement can also come with worries about disrupted routines and the limits around sweets you’ve worked so hard to keep.

My intention with this post is to show how we can enjoy the festivities and stay consistent with our family values.

These same skills carry over to editing their toys, books, and clothes. Each choice is another chance to practice being thoughtful and to build confidence.

I’ve worked with kids who used to have stacks of drawings everywhere. Now they go through them on their own, keep the ones they love, and let the rest go without a struggle. They decide which ones to hang up. And once kids trust that they can choose, that confidence grows every time they use it.

This is the kind of practice that happens when I work with families. Their values shape our organizing decisions and the character traits we foster as everyone participates.

It can start with a jar of Halloween candy. Over time, it becomes how your family makes decisions together.

If that sounds like something you’d love for your family to experience, let’s chat.

Book a Complimentary Connection Call

I know they’re just clothes. But back when my son was a toddler, he would get his clothes dirty minutes after we left home.

Haven’t we already changed outfits three times today?

Will the stain come out?

Then we’d get home from an outing, and there it was, a pile of laundry I hadn’t gotten around to folding, staring at me.

It felt like a reminder that it would never end. How did I go from being an art director at Disney, juggling big projects with tight deadlines, to someone who couldn’t keep up with the laundry?

I felt embarrassed and resentful. I was also angry at myself for feeling that way.

Clothing has been one of the biggest stressors for the families I work with, too. By the time I became a home organizer, I had two kids and years of practice climbing out from under the laundry and the sense of defeat that came with it.

Along the way, I noticed three things that make it so heavy:

• The Quantity: Kids’ clothes are just too darn cute. Between fast fashion, online deals, hand-me-downs, gifts, growth spurts, changing seasons, and activities that need their own outfits, some families accumulate hundreds of tiny clothes each year.

• The Maintenance: Sorting, washing, folding, putting away, letting go. Each step takes time, energy, and mental space.

• The Challenges: Lost jackets, missing socks, and finding the right fabric for a child who can’t stand tags or certain textures. Even when it’s just clothes, so many emotions can come up when something goes wrong.

The Dooley Method library has lessons that go into each of these in detail. Today I want to share how I began teaching my kids to take ownership of their laundry when they were 4 and 9, and three shifts that lightened the load for all of us.

They decide what stays

The first shift happened before any clothes even went into the washing machine.

I let my kids make their own decluttering decisions about their clothes. They kept the ones they actually like to wear, and those are the ones they naturally take better care of.

Having fewer clothes made the laundry less overwhelming, too. When a week’s worth fits in one load, it becomes something the kids can learn to handle on their own.

They decide how much they can handle alone.

For us, it began with them starting the washing machine and moving the clothes to the dryer with my help. Then they folded their socks and underwear while I finished the rest.

As they felt more confident, they took on a little more, and I did a little less. Over time, the balance shifted at a pace that didn’t set off any power struggles.

We troubleshoot like detectives

When things go wrong, like socks go missing or the clothes get forgotten in the washer overnight and come out smelling like a wet mop, or the one thing they really wanted to wear didn’t get washed, we try to figure out how to fix it or prevent it from happening next time.

This one took the longest for us to learn: not freaking out when something goes wrong. With enough practice, we’re able to give ourselves a moment to be frustrated, and then move on to finding a solution together.

Where we are now

My boys are now 13 and 18, and I haven’t had to remind them about laundry in almost two years. Sometimes their clean clothes sit in the basket for a few days before they get folded. If I have time, I’ll ask whether they want to fold on their own or do it together. Either way, I’m happy. It means they trust themselves to be responsible, or we get to hang out and chat while we get it done as a team.

As for my husband and me, we divide and conquer. He handles the washing and drying, and I fold, which has become a little like meditation for me.

Laundry was just where we started. What we were really practicing was sharing the work of a home without turning it into a power struggle. Along the way, it built a sense of trust and belonging.

When I think back to those days when I felt frustrated every time my son got his clothes dirty, I can see it was never about the laundry. I was carrying the work of managing our home on my own, and judging myself for not keeping up. But when each of us learned to take responsibility for ourselves while supporting one another, the resentment got washed away too.

❤️
Thank you for spending a few minutes with me today.
I hope something here makes the next load feel a little lighter.

If you'd like to walk through these shifts with your own family, the Dooley Method Library lessons are yours to keep when you upgrade to a paid subscription.

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To you, it seems obvious.

You set up the system, and you’ve used it a hundred times.

For everyone else, they see an empty spot, so that’s where the cup goes. They aren’t seeing the reason behind your setup.

That’s where customizing the space helps.

When each shelf is set to the height of what belongs on it, the cabinet gives everyone clues. The customized spaces does some of the explaining for you.

And turning all the handles the same way?

It’s a bit like watching synchronized swimmers or a marching band. When everything faces the same direction, it looks calm and intentional, and it’s easier to notice when something is out of place.

Try it with your kids

If you feel like this tip can improve your cupware organization and maximize your kitchen cabinet, invite your kids to help decide how high or low each shelf should go.

Then, test it out with them. Try taking a few cups and mugs out of the cabinet and see if they can figure out where to put them back.

Let me know how they do!

If you are new to Dooley Noted

I’m Ann Dooley, a connection-first family organizer and the creator of the Dooley Method. I’m also a certified parenting coach, a Master Level KonMari Consultant, and a mom of two teen boys, who have been learning alongside me since my youngest was three.

I help families create order in their home with fewer power struggles, more independent kids, and a calm that holds up through busy weeks.

I write on Substack to share what I’ve learned from nearly 10 years of personal and professional experiences working with families.

If you’re tired of reorganizing the same spaces, or being the only one who knows where everything goes, let’s talk.

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I couldn’t believe what was happening at this playdate.

My friend’s son was screaming from the inside a closet for his mommy as she held the door shut.

This happened over a decade ago when our boys were about five years old. It was before I had my parent coaching certification. But it doesn’t take learning connection parenting to know that I was witnessing something terrible.

At the end of a lovely playdate, we asked our boys to clean up. Her son didn’t want to and kept playing.

I was getting my son ready to leave. Then suddenly I heard her yelling at her son. She took him to the closet and closed the door.

With him banging on the door from within, she explained to me that he didn’t want to clean up and threw a toy.

I recall freezing up. I had never seen this side of her, and she seemed so certain of what she was doing. I didn’t know what to say.

And as someone raised by parents who used corporal punishment, I retreated.

It felt like forever before her son quieted down and she opened the door. When she did, her son and I made eye contact. I didn’t have the courage to say anything, and honestly, I didn’t know what to say.

My friend instructed her son to go clean up, which he did quietly. And we said goodbye.

On our way home, I asked my son how he felt about what happened. He said his friend should have cleaned up.

Even long after that afternoon, I still replay in my mind what I could have said or done. Should I have intervened? What’s my place when another parent is disciplining their child? Should I have stood up for her son?

Perhaps that lingering discomfort is what eventually led me to take a parenting course, because I couldn’t come up with the answers.

Fast Forward

We lost touch after they moved. The last time I saw her social media, her son got into a great school and had an internship at a prestigious company, the path most people would call successful.

I don’t know how he’s doing on the inside. I only know what I saw that afternoon, and that terrified look on his face has stayed with me.

I've also worked with parents who grew up with this kind of discipline. From the outside, they're capable and accomplished. But after a few sessions, many realize they're still afraid of being judged or making decisions their parents may not agree with, even about what to keep or let go. (Myself included.)

I truly hope, just as my own parenting has evolved over time, that what I witnessed wasn’t the norm, and that it didn’t leave a lasting imprint on his day to day.

What I Know Now

I believe my friend wanted to teach her son a lesson. Her choice to use power over him might have looked different if she had known that at four or five, impulse control is still developing.

Stopping something fun to do something less exciting is one of the hardest transitions for a young child. It’s like the thinking part of the brain hasn’t caught up to the wanting part yet.

His resistance or delay was a very normal moment, which could have been met with a conversation and some support.

When cleaning up became tied to being shut away, the lesson about taking care of our space got lost, and a power struggle took its place.

This happens in quieter ways, too. Toys get taken away when they’re left out. Screen time disappears until the room is done. Cleaning up becomes the thing you do to avoid losing something, or the consequence you get when you’ve been “bad.”

These approaches can work in the moment. But what they teach a child is that caring for their home comes with a risk. And when a task is linked to a punishment, it leads to avoidance, resistance, or compliance only when someone is watching. Over time, that becomes how they understand responsibility itself.

The same is true in the other direction. When caring for their home comes with support and connection, responsibility becomes something children feel capable of.

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What to Do Instead

Like so many parenting challenges, start with curiosity.

Is he tired? Is he sad that playtime is ending? Does the mess feel too big to know where to start?

Once you know, you can help with the actual issue. A heads-up before it’s time to stop. Starting together, side by side. Breaking it into one small piece at a time. If things don’t go as hoped, invite them to try again.

And always, when everyone is calm, talk about what happened and why taking care of the space matters, and how their efforts help all of you.

They may remember it next time. They may not. Repetition is how we all learn.

How I Work With Families

The Dooley Method starts with connection. Your child feels seen, heard, and trusted to handle a task. I believe that when children take care of what they helped create, responsibility develops.

One of my favorite client stories is an 11-year-old boy I worked with on his room. He was excited to share his ideas and made every decision about his games, cards, and treasures. His sister even made the labels. A few weeks later, his mom sent me this:

Nobody had to make him.

He knew how, and he wanted to, because we worked together, built an organizing system, and honored his input. It also brought the family closer in caring for their belongings.

If this feels like something you’d like for your family, book a free 15-minute Connection Call and we’ll talk about what’s going on at home, and the next steps towards results like these.

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Home organizing is letting go of what no longer serves you.
Parenting is knowing when to let go and trust your child to figure it out.
The Dooley Method is practicing both — together.

❤️

I went back and forth about sharing it, because many people probably already reuse their containers. But I thought it was worth sharing with a new Dooley Method perspective, to bring teaching children how to organize into the mix.

I’ve always been diligent about recycling, and sometimes it feels like a hobby and creative challenge. Before something goes in the bin, I like to pause and ask what else it could be.

It reminds me of the children’s book Not a Box by Antoinette Portis. I want to show my kids that not everything has to be conveniently disposable.

One of my favorite uses: I love making food for my elderly neighbor, putting it in a glass jar, and adding a bow.

Finding new uses saves money and resources, and if you end up with too many, recycling is always an option.

This is also where I start with clients. Before anyone buys a new bin, we look at what’s already in the home. Whenever we find the containers that fit just right, it’s like we’ve struck gold!

Try it with your kids

When kids grow up with this mindset, they learn to look around before looking to buy. It’s an inventor’s way of seeing: looking at an object and imagining what else it could be.

Next time, give your kids a few empty containers, let them organize something of their own, and see what they do with it. I’d love to hear how it goes.

If you are new to Dooley Noted

I’m Ann, a connection-first family organizer and the creator of the Dooley Method. I’m also a certified parenting coach, a Master Level KonMari Consultant, and a mom of two boys.

I help parents and kids organize together, so the home becomes a place to practice skills like noticing, making decisions, and following through.

I write here on Substack to share what I’ve learned from my own home and the families I work with, so parents have somewhere to start, wherever they are.

If you’d like help bringing this kind of thinking into your whole home, with your kids as part of the process, let’s talk.

Book a Complimentary Connection Call

You have a quiet hour to go through their closets and pull out the outgrown clothes, like you do every year.

It feels good to make room, and to know those clothes can move to your younger child’s drawers and get more wear.

Then, a few days later, you notice more arguing around the house.

“That’s mine!”
“You can’t wear that!”

Toys that haven’t been played with in months are suddenly being fought over.

What’s going on with these kids? Is this just the age when sibling rivalry starts?

It’s possible. As children grow and change, they can have a harder time communicating and managing their impulses.

But there may be something else going on: sibling rivalry that grows, unintentionally, out of hand-me-downs.

In this episode, I share my own story of growing up as the younger sibling, in a wardrobe full of hand-me-downs. I also talk about what I’ve heard from clients, and how I approach this differently with my two sons.

We’ll look at how giving children a say in what happens with their belongings, and in what they receive, can turn hand-me-downs into a practice that builds generosity and connection.

If this sounds familiar, you don’t have to sort it out alone.

I’m a connection-first home organizer, and the Dooley Method is the approach I created to help parents and children organize together.

This isn’t about a perfect-looking home or getting kids to comply. It’s about building skills your family can use for years: noticing, deciding, and following through, with less tension along the way.

I work with families one-on-one, virtually and in person. Paid members of Dooley Noted also get ongoing support and resources. Schedule a free 15-minute Connection Call, and we can find what fits your family.

Discover Relief for Your Family

❤️

Recently , a mom of two and an engaged subscriber, left a comment on my post about repurposing my kids’ notebooks: “Ann, you have the best ideas! You need to do a video on this. People here would love it.”

It got me thinking about another way to repurpose.

Every Sunday, I’ll share a tiny tidy tip from my video archive. Some are things you can try showing your kids. Others can help bring you a little relief, so you have more capacity for everything else already on your plate.

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I do have a disclaimer.

I used to love sharing these tips, until I noticed a pattern from my clients. Before working with me, most of them had tried piecing together tips that brought short-term relief. But they still ended up reorganizing the same spaces, trying out different containers, or accepting that they had to live with the mess.

When the same spaces keep falling apart, no one has failed. There are often several reasons it isn't working, and they're hard to see when you've been living with or working around them for a while.

It's a little like when something gets messed up and you ask your child, "Why did you do that?" and get silence. If they knew, they would have done it another way. The same is true for us.

That’s why I stopped making those videos. A tip can’t address what’s happening in your home. On its own, it won’t make a lasting difference or develop long-term habits and internal motivation. Still, I understand now that a small step can matter.

Sometimes one thing goes a little easier, and something else shifts. You feel a bit of hope. You think, maybe we can do more.

So I’m sharing these videos again, this time with more context.

Closing a bag in a certain way won’t fix a pantry that keeps getting disorganized, but it can be a first step.

Every family starts somewhere. This could be one place to begin.

If you find yourself wanting more than small steps, a way for your family to feel “done” with organizing, so you’re no longer the only one carrying the care of the home, that’s the work I do with families.

And maybe you’ve never worked with a home organizer. Or you have, but not with someone who centers the parent-child connection (not many people have). You’ve tried to do it on your own, but something still doesn’t feel right and you can’t figure out why.

Let's chat. Together we can get to the root of the chaos, and I can show you how I'd help your family find harmony in your home that lasts, with kids who know how to care for their things and a parent who has the skills to confidently guide them.

Book a Complimentary Connection Call

Hi Everyone,

Are you enjoying the changing colors of autumn? Back when I lived in California, I had never seen the beauty of the fall foliage. That’s definitely something I’m grateful for living on the east coast now, because seeing the passage of time in our surroundings is a quiet reminder to appreciate how far we've come since January.

Recent celebration worth noting

First, a quick look back.

I’m very proud of a second collaboration with Early Childhood educator, Lara, of The Parenting Tree, to look at 8 household tasks you can do with your children at home, through two lenses: The developmental appropriateness of each task from Lara, plus my practical how-to. The infographics Lara created made it so much easier for parents to learn.

On a personal level, I’m excited to be celebrating my 25th year wedding anniversary. Two grown kids and a dog later, we still make each other laugh so hard that tears come out. What’s our secret? Even during tough times, we never lost hope that we could work things out. And more times than not, what upsets us had more to do with how we were raised to handle conflicts differently from one another. And connection and communication are still the foundation to a strong relationship.

A challenge worth noting

I’m currently working with a client who is starting over after a big life change. She’s moving into a 300 square foot apartment with her young son, and we’re doing it across a 12-hour time difference.

It’s been a very collaborative process, which is so essential in creating a home that works for the people who will be living in it. And no matter the size of the home, it can still hold a whole life with intention for ease, comfort, and a sense of safety.

I look forward to sharing our journey in a future series when our work is done.

A commitment worth noting

I’ve been sitting with this for a while now, and I’m ready to share it.

So much of the conversation around home organizing focuses on the kids — getting them to participate, follow through, let go of things. But the parents are carrying something too. The mental load, the resentment, the feeling of being the only one who notices.

The Dooley Method was always designed for the whole family. I’m going to make that more visible, with articles that address the parents working together to support the children.

That's where the Dooley Method Library comes in. It’s a resource intended for those motivated to do the method at their own pace. Everything from addressing motivation in children, to the practical how-to organize your pantry. My best tips are all at your fingertips.

One final note

Many parents come to me after years of trying to figure it out on their own, but for some reason the clutter returns after just a few weeks or even days of relief. Some start to feel like “what’s the point?” and resign to living with the mess.

If that sounds familiar, I’d love to spend 15 minutes exploring what’s actually getting in the way for your family and give you an exit off of the hamster wheel.

Book a 15-Minute Connection Call

❤️

“The classroom belongs to everyone.”

When Lara, an Early Childhood Educator, says this to her class, her students pick up the concept of shared resources and spaces. They understand in a classroom environment, they play a key part in the upkeep.

The same goes for the home environment. A home is the place where every child is entitled to feel safe emotionally and physically. Naturally, a safe home environment comes with a sense of belonging.

In today’s post, we’re looking at 4 household tasks you can do with your children at home, through two lenses:

• The developmental appropriateness of each task, from Lara | The Parenting Tree.

• And my practical how-to, through my experience as a certified KonMari home organizing consultant and connection-first parenting.

Lara is also sharing 4 more tasks on her account to help your children develop their sense of belonging through helping to take care of the home. The link will be available at the end of the post for you to continue learning from this collaboration.

We look forward to any questions or comments on what your experience is like trying out these ideas.

💗 Ann and Lara

Wiping the Tables After Meals

Developmental Lens by Lara:

The task of wiping tables isn’t as simple for children as it is for adults. They require a sense of balance and some eye-hand co-ordination when they move the cloth around the table surface. Stubborn stains removal may require them to exert more strength.

Focus and attention gets developed when they spot areas that are particularly dirty. Tasking children with the wiping of tables also nurtures a habit of keeping their space clean and tidy.

Putting Items Back to Their Respective Places

Developmental Lens by Lara:

Putting items back to their respective places is a little tricky - we need to be mindful of their ages.

Toddlers may be able to put things back on the shelf, but we can’t expect them to keep the items in their “spot”. Invite them to do it anyway!

The younger children would still very much enjoy bringing the items, one at a time, towards the shelves and placing them on it. We just need to remember to provision more time.

For the older children, this task is definitely manageable and it covers some learning areas too! A different way to learn the concept of matching (visual labels would be extremely helpful here), and spatial awareness.

We are instilling values of responsibility and care towards their space and environment. When children know where things are kept, they’d also know where to retrieve them. This develops a sense of autonomy and in the long term, builds a sense of agency and resourcefulness.

Bonus: It supports parents: less hand-holding when your child knows where to retrieve items from and put back.

Have you set up any of these stations in your homes? Share them with us!

Leave a comment

Cleaning Surfaces

Developmental Lens by Lara:

This may seem like a task, but it’s definitely a fun one for children!

Gross and fine motor development takes place here - similar to wiping the tables. The spray bottle itself is a tool to be manipulated. Different textures of cloth produce different cleaning outcomes and it’s an opportunity for them to practice observing and concluding.

Recently (on social media), there seems to be an increased interest in bilateral co-ordination activities. Here, we have 1 hand in charge of the spray bottle, 1 hand in charge of wiping. Step by step, one after the other. Loads of co-ordination going on!

Washing Items Such as Cups and Clothes

Developmental Lens by Lara:

A good water-play alternative, if you ask me. Children love water play, but sometimes we may not be able to provide them with the full experience of splashing around. Give them a task! They’ll enjoy it equally, with a different approach. Clear boundaries should be communicated - this is a task that they need to complete.

Take this opportunity to observe them! Are they the type to wash one cloth, squeeze dry, then hang and peg? Or are they leaning towards washing all the cloth, squeezing them all dry and hanging all together?

The task requires them to activate their fine motor skills, and have patience in repetitive tasks.

Share

4 more tasks in Lara’s Post →

The common thread through this list is that these skills don’t stop at “childhood” - they’re skills your child will carry through life. And when they’re introduced as part of the norm, rather than as an instruction or task, the resistance fades, and the energy around it shifts too.

These skills shape the quality of our everyday lives, and sometimes as adults, they even recharge us.

Whether it’s through the lens of an Early Childhood Educator or a KonMari home organizing consultant, the view of these everyday tasks as more than chores is the same. We believe they are moments of connection, capability, and belonging - one small task at a time.

Learn 4 More Tasks From Lara

Read Ann and Lara’s previous collaboration here:

Children’s involvement in chores

Lara | The Parenting Tree and Dooley Noted

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Aug 30

Read full story

Children’s involvement in household tasks

Lara | The Parenting Tree

·

Aug 31

Read full story

About Ann Dooley, Dooley Noted

Ann is a connection-first home organizer who believes cooperation begins with connection.

She works with overwhelmed parents reduce the stress and friction caused by clutter by creating homes where everyone can participate and work together.

With nearly a decade of experience guiding families, Ann’s approach goes beyond creating order. She believes children learn through play, and when they feel seen, heard, and connected, cooperation can happen naturally.

Her goal isn’t simply a more organized home. It’s a home where families feel confident working together, with more room for generosity, creativity, kindness, and the things they value most.

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About Lara | The Parenting Tree

Lara is an early childhood educator who writes about early childhood (behaviour, connection, resilience, and everything in between) to help parents understand themselves and who their children are a little better.

She writes The Parenting Tree and, Dear Child…- two spaces for sharing reflections that help us meet children, and ourselves, a little more clearly.

Subscribe to Lara's Publication Here

You gave them a 5-minute warning.

You said with a smile “Hey, did you guys hear me?”

You tried to hide your frustration and said in the nicest tone “I guess you guys don’t care about these toys, maybe I’ll give them away.”

The kids jump up “No! We want them. We’ll put them away.”

Does this happen in your home?

Many years ago, that was my go-to solution. I didn’t raise my voice, so I thought that was practicing gentle parenting.

But a calm voice doesn’t change the fact that it was still a threat of their toy getting taken away.

It was not letting them experience a natural consequence; instead, it was power over them.

The lesson I learned was they needed something to be afraid of to take action.

And they learned to comply even if they didn’t want to.

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What's actually happening

From the parents’ perspective, taking something away was fine as long as the intention was to raise responsible children.

The trouble is that responsibility, not just putting things away, is an abstract concept. Children don’t have the mental capacity to process it until they are around 8-12 years of age to understand accountability, impact on others, and owning consequences without being prompted.

What toddlers and children under 8 are motivated by is a combination of sequence of events and our reactions to their actions.

It’s as simple as: mommy looks happy, I feel safe, I’ll repeat that action.

Of course they also will test the limits and learn what actions lead to us getting angry, and take note of what to avoid.

We also live in a culture where rushing and short attention spans have become the norm. So when we don’t see immediate results, we end up putting pressure or take over.

Have you ever waited to start dinner or laundry until you’ve finished answering your emails? Children’s play is their work. They also have less ability to control their impulses, or the ability to think ahead that dinner will be ready soon, even when you explain it to them!

We forget that we also don’t like being told what to do, but expect children to not only do what they’re told, but also to do it happily.

And often we don’t realize a simple task for us, may still feel challenging to a young child, and if left to do it alone, or if the toys are scattered everywhere, it can feel very daunting.

So what to do instead?

As mentioned earlier, play is work for children. And they are internally motivated to be playful. So using that to your advantage, here are five fun and engaging ways to make clean up time more exciting:

Note: Before you start these games, two things.

First, let the children know what comes next on the agenda. For example:

“When we finish, it’s time to wash your hands and come to the dinner table. Do you want apples or grapes as your fruit tonight?”

“When we finish, it’s time to wash up before bedtime story. Do you want to pick a book or let me choose?”

Second, these games work best when parents are modeling keeping the home tidy because double standards create confusion and unfairness, which children care very much about. But these games work even better when the roles are switched too, and your kids will enjoy being in charge of the clock while you clean up.

Now, let’s have some fun:

1. The 10-Item Speed Challenge

Turn tidying up into a fast-paced game by giving each child a specific number of items to rescue and put away.

• How it works: Shout, “Everyone freeze! It’s a Speed Race. Can you find and put away 10 [fill in the blank] before the timer beeps?” (Let them choose the sound of the beep on your cellphone, or you can also play a fun song and pause it like playing musical chairs.)

• Why it works: An amount that feels manageable and set up as a race will get their bodies moving quickly.

2. The Toy Delivery Truck

Transform the physical act of carrying toys into a roleplay scenario where children act as vehicles or delivery workers.

• How it works: Have your children pretend to be a truck, train, or delivery cart. They can load the “cargo” (toys) onto their bodies, into a laundry basket, or onto a toy truck bed, and “drive” it back to the toy box while making engine noises.

• Why it works: It uses their imagination to make the physical labor of carrying items fun.

3. The Lost Toy Super Heroes

Transform your children into helpful heroes on a mission to rescue their things. (Let them choose the characters)

• How it works: Tell your children they are the Super Heroes of the living room (You can come up with a silly name like “Toy City”, and their toys are citizens who have gotten lost. Their mission is to safely guide each toy back home to its secret headquarters (the toy bins).

• Why it works: Children absolutely love being the ones in charge. Shifting their role from “mess-makers” to “helpful heroes saving the day” completely flips their internal motivation.

4. The Moving Target (Basketball Chase)

Turn the toy bin itself into an interactive, moving game piece.

• How it works: Hold the toy basket or bin and slowly move around the room like a wandering target. The kids have to chase you down and try to toss or drop their toys into the basket while you are on the move. You can make silly engine sounds or gently “dodge” to make it more challenging.

• Why it works: It channels their physical energy into a game of chase, making them run back and forth to clear the floor without even realizing they are working.

5. The “I Spy” Cleaning Detective

Turn cleanup into a mystery game where you guide their attention to specific items one by one.

• How it works: Say, “I spy with my little eye... something red that belongs on the shelf.” The kids have to hunt for the item, guess what it is, and put it away to solve the mystery. Repeat until the floor is clear.

• Why it works: It removes the decision fatigue of a child looking at a messy room and not knowing where to start.

Rotate these games throughout the week to keep it feeling fresh. Give your children more sense of control by letting them choose which game to play. (You may get bored if they have a favorite, but as long as they are happily picking up after themselves, it’s a win!)

Also, keep the peace between siblings by only having children compete against the parents or the clock, never each other.

Which one of these games would you try first?

A Final Thought…

If you try these games and still find that cleanup takes forever, or that the sheer volume of toys feels completely overwhelming, it might be a sign that something deeper is going on.

This is exactly the kind of work I do with families. I help parents look beneath the clutter to understand what is driving the chaos. And together, we create a realistic plan that we can execute alongside your kids.

If you are curious about what is possible for your home, take the next step towards having more order and harmony in your home by scheduling a free 15-minute Connection Call with me.

Book a Connection Call

Parenting is being transparent about what you truly mean, expect, and when you’ve made a mistake. The Dooley Method helps your family create space for both.

To support Ann’s work:

In all of the years of working as a home organizer, they are the ones I feel an extra weight of responsibility toward.

Not only to help them create more calm and space in their home, but to help open them up to new possibilities, and to let go of any remaining heaviness from the relationship that ended.

Today’s Before & After post highlights one of the moms who was kind enough to let me share her story.

❤️

We worked together about six years ago. A mom with so little capacity that she had what I call “house blindness.” When fight or flight has taken over, she can walk past the clutter and it doesn’t register. As if her body was protecting itself from facing the reality.

She wasn’t alone in that way.

Sometimes being frozen and unable to manage the clutter reveals what’s not working below the surface.

It’s no surprise that clutter is a big source of contention in marriages.

Perhaps growing up, one or both partners were never taught how to organize in the first place.

The visual clutter taking over a home’s surfaces becomes evidence of a partner seeing as being disrespectful, uncaring, not responsible or reliable.

Fights are common over who has done more, hasn’t done enough, or has bought too much. The piles of clothes and out of place items fill in the gap between partners.

A divorce also has a very big impact on someone’s ability to let go. As is, they’ve already let go of a part of who they were. A separation means letting go of the traditional family arrangement. Sometimes letting go of friends and family you thought were yours for life.

After all of that, letting go of physical things can feel like too much to ask, or like closing a chapter that still feels raw.

And sometimes the clutter piling up around a home becomes a kind of wall. A physical version of wanting to feel safe inside a boundary, even when what’s stacked around you isn’t serving you.

When someone is in that place, reaching out for help can feel like failure on top of a failed marriage. I'm always grateful and proud when these moms reach out anyway.

And I’ve noticed that it’s usually the wellbeing of the children that motivates them to take the step.

They don't want their kids to feel embarrassed. They want to give their children a home that feels safe, and a space they don't have to feel ashamed of.

As always when working with a parent, I start with a bedroom reset.

I treat the bedroom like a home, and we go through clothes, any books and paper in the room, and other miscellaneous and sentimental items.

We may come across the dress she wore on a date with her ex, a shirt she had on during a fight, a journal that held her deepest hopes and despair.

The decisions on what to keep are more complicated than a simple “I haven’t worn this in a long time.” Understanding why is the work.

Getting clarity and following what sparks joy is where the transformation happens.

In these sessions, I talk with my client to help her imagine what her new life can look like without clutter, and use that vision to guide her choices on what to keep or let go.

You can try this exercise too:

Picture one ordinary day like the start of a movie. You’re the main character.

You wake up. The room feels calm, no mess in sight. The sheets feel good.

You open the bedroom closet to change your clothes. Every item is neatly stored. You easily find something you like to put on.

Imagine the day at home, effortlessly reaching for the things you need, with people special to you nearby, enjoying each other’s company. Maybe you read a book with your child or bake cookies together.

After a long day, you relax in bed. There isn’t a pile of clothes on the floor or anything to distract you from sleep. You feel safe and cozy inside a home that takes care of you.

Holding on to that vision when you declutter will make it clearer what to let go of.

Transformation like this is why I do the work that I do. Knowing I can help a mom feel lighter and have more capacity to be there for her child, it's an honor to be a part of.

I’m opening 2 spots this month to help families go from "I just want to throw everything out" to feeling like your home is the place you want to be.

Together, with your kids, through play and connection, we aim to have the whole family develop the skills and habits to maintain the home as a team.

If you’re curious about how that works, reply or comment with “home” and I’ll reach out to see whether it makes sense for us to work together.

Until then, give yourself grace and remember that clutter is temporary, but connection last a life time.

Joyfully,
Ann
❤️

I grew up in a house where crying wasn’t allowed.

When I cried, I was yelled at to stop.
So I learned to fight the urge and keep it hidden.

That lesson followed me into motherhood.

I push through, believing that tears gave away my insecurities and fears.

It felt risky.
Like once I started, I wouldn’t be able to pull myself back together and still do what needed to be done.

Many moms I’ve worked with can relate.
They keep going because pausing to feel isn’t an option.

Keep going means wiping your tears with the kitchen towel after doing the dishes alone.

Keep going means answering your child’s question in a steady voice while something inside you is cracking.

Keep going means saying to a friend with a half smile that you’ll have to wait until the kids are out of the house to have an organized home.

Making matters worse, when kids cry over cleaning up, it can stir a subtle jealousy in parents when noticing that their children have an emotional freedom they themselves have learned to suppress.

And then the cycle begins.

Parents want their kids’ crying to stop, partly for their own sake, to calm their own nerves.

They bargain, distract, and threaten consequences they don’t really want to enforce.

But what I didn’t know then was that crying is good for us.

It’s a sign that we’ve taken on more than we can handle and change needs to happen. And even if the solution isn’t clear, it nudges us a little closer to asking for help.

Shedding tears also helps restore balance by releasing excess stress hormones. It's the body's natural way of easing back toward calm.

Realizing that my tears are meant to help me took away the belief that I was weak. It was my body communicating with me. It felt like something to embrace and let it happen.

It became the start of something changing, or moving in the direction that will not be so heavy.

For nearly 10 years, I’ve been working with mostly moms to declutter and organize their home.

In the last 3 years, I changed how I work so the whole family can contribute.

I’ve seen couples arguing over the mess come together. I’ve seen children become calmer and more confident to do their part.

Tears still happen, but out of joy.

I’m not saying this is easy, or that home organizing can change everything not working in your home.

But it’s the path that will make everything else change.

When I’m on a call with parents who have been holding it together, and are surprised when their eyes well up.

They tell me have been running on autopilot just to get through the day, and anger and frustration are the only emotions that end up coming through.

They apologize for crying.

And I always tell them to trust that the tears are doing their work, and that there’s no shame in asking for help.

I’m opening 2 spots next month to work with families whose spaces feel taken over by clutter. This is for parents who have been carrying it all by themselves, and frustrated by the same power struggles over the mess.

I’m looking to help parents who want to get to the root of the problem, develop confidence through hands-on practice, build lasting habits together, and experience the transformation with their children as young as three.

The next step? Book a 15-minute call to see if we are the right fit.

If we’re not, I will point you in the right direction.

If we are, we’ll set up a longer call to go through what a plan for your family would look like. Partners are welcome on the call so we can all be on the same page.

Book a Connection Call

❤️

Here’s another article that might interest you:

Hi Everyone,

September always feels like a second January to me. Kids back in school after a long break, routines slowly return. It feels like a restart that brings some sense of optimism.

Recent celebration worth noting

This month begins with a little bit of looking back. I was honored to be featured in Vesna Pavlovic's Women Who Chose publication. It’s a series about women who built careers on their own terms. It’s one of the most personal posts I’ve shared publicly, and I’m grateful Vesna held the conversation with such care. You can read the full feature here.

I also had the joy of collaborating with two of my favorite Substack moms, Papatya🌼 and Dr. Amy of The (WHOLE) CHILD on a piece about how spatial order soothes young minds.

And to top it off, I contributed to a 2-part post with Lara, an Early Childhood Educator, on engaging children in caring for the home.

These are the exact conversations I wished I had when my boys were young. If you haven’t had a chance, save this post so you can return to them when you have a moment.

A challenge worth noting

Ending something that’s not working isn’t easy, but when you have clarity on the reasons why, the silver lining appears and you feel more settled with the choice.

In the last few months, I’ve hosted several co-working sessions. While working alongside others was valuable, I felt torn that it wasn’t moving the needle for families when it comes to learning skills they were never taught.

That’s why I’ve decided it’s time to close the co-working sessions, to focus on coaching the whole family. I know the result will be more families being able to multiply the impact of their efforts towards the same goal.

A commitment worth noting

As mentioned above, I’m shifting my focus to supporting families ready to end their frustrations with clutter, once and for all.

It’s the work that turns nagging your children to seeing them light up when they’ve completed a task on their own. It’s the family knowing where things go because they were part of helping to create the system.

I’m committed to guiding the type of transformation that not only happens in your home, but your children’s future household, because long-term solutions build habits and family values.

I’m opening 2 spots this month to do just that.

I’d like to invite you to a 15-minute call, it’d be great if your partner can join as well, so I can learn more about how clutter is affecting your day to day. If we aren’t the right fit, I’ll point you in the right direction. If we are, I’ll share the next steps to create a plan to get your family closer to feeling relief.

Book a 15-Minute Connection Call

One final note

Most people recognize the problem with clutter, but we rarely stop to calculate what we’re actually paying for it. Every square foot of unusable space is space you’re paying rent or mortgage on.

That’s why I’ve created a simple calculator to help you see that number for yourself. Click the button below to find out.

Calculate

❤️

Standing in the doorway to her bedroom, staring at the corner where her stuffed animals used to be.

But no fluffy bunny to be found.

My client described a moment from her childhood. She recalls her eyes welled up as she stood still for a while before burying her face into the pillow and wept.

This memory resurfaced while we were decluttering her bedroom closet. She told me her mom warned that if she didn’t clean up her stuffed toys, they’d be thrown out.

Her mom kept her word.

As an adult, a parent of a 5-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter, she can see it both ways.

While she respected her mom for following through on her words, part of her still wishes it hadn’t been so black and white.

Because while a lesson was learned, it turned out differently than what her mom had intended the lesson to be.

Three decades later, my client struggled with her overly packed closet. Her kids’ closets were the same, because she found it just as hard to let go of their things as her own.

The fear of anything leaving her home kept her stuck. And even when she made attempts to declutter, she often ended up closing the closet door with a sense of shame, guilt, and defeat.

Her story sounds dramatic, but it’s more common than you’d think.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, a question in my comments was raised about whether a three-year-old could start making her own decluttering decisions.

That question, next to my client’s story, is what got me thinking about how much that very first introduction to letting go matters, and how much a parent’s approach to it can shape the years that follow.

For a lot of parents, letting a three-year-old decide what stays and what goes feels like the same thing as permissive parenting, like handing over the reins altogether.

But trusting a child to choose isn’t the same as stepping back from guidance. It’s respecting that they’re capable of deciding something, on their own terms, with you right there beside them.

Part of what makes this hard is that a parent is often looking at the item through a lens, focusing on:

• What it cost

• How much mess it makes or space it takes up

• What it took to buy it

• Who gave it to them

Their child is looking at it through a completely different one:

• How it feels when they interact with it

• The significance of the moment it became theirs

• Every moment it was a part of in their imagination

❤️

Sometimes, my job is straightforward: making practical decisions.

But on that day, that not-so-random memory served a purpose, one that would eventually lead my client to successfully declutter her entire home with her children.

The truth is, holding on can feel safe, even when what you’re protecting yourself from is long gone.

My client hasn’t lived with her mother in decades. There was no one left to enforce a rule, no threat of anything being thrown out. But the fear stayed anyway.

If this resonates, perhaps you also had an early experience where your survival instinct kept you in a frozen state when it comes to making decisions about your things. Many of the parents I’ve worked with came to find out that the pattern of holding on became a language their children learn to speak too.

But I don’t blame you. Our choices are shaped by what we know or experienced in the past. Our bodies are designed to avoid what brings on discomfort, and sometimes when we stay in that discomfort long enough, there’s a strange ease to it, one that can feel easier to continue the behavior than making a change.

Unfortunately, that approach isn’t sustainable.

And for many families, the delay cost them more time, energy, and friction than whatever they’ve been holding on to.

That’s when people reach out to a home organizer, a parenting coach, or someone like me who’s combined both, to literally and metaphorically sort through how they got here, and find a new path forward.

In my client’s case, I also worked with her kids and husband, so the whole family could continue toward a new norm, together.

And to the surprise of many parents, kids who practice these decisions as early as three years old begin to build a steadier relationship with their belongings. Letting go gets easier, because it was never something that happened without them knowing. Instead, they experience a sense of empowerment that continues to nurture their ability to trust themselves to decide.

In the video lesson below, I walk through how to bring your child into these decisions in a way that’s developmentally appropriate, one that takes into account a child’s sense of belonging and respected within the family.

With time and consistency, kids build something bigger than an organized room. They build trust in their own instincts, and the confidence to make choices they can stand behind, within the safety of parents who believe in them.

I hope this has been helpful to you.

Paid subscribers, can continue to learn the how-to video lesson and download the worksheet and printables below.

I’m planning a future post about when the parents have an easier time making decisions but find it challenging to get their children to let things go. Consider becoming a free subscriber to receive that story in your inbox when it comes out.

Joyfully,
Ann

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We made it to the final story in our series. If you’re just joining us, Sheeba of This, Right Here and I have been exploring the topic of our complicated relationships with our things. Each fictional story inspired by South Indian family life, touches on the theme of holding on and letting go of our things. And I’ve been adding my perspective as a connection-first home organizer and parent educator. I hope you’ll go back and read them all. I’ll add the links to the bottom of this post.

Without further ado, here’s today’s story:

Riya, the Overwhelmed Child

by Sheeba

The house was full that weekend — Achachan’s Shashtipoorthi, his 60th birthday celebration, had brought everyone home, cousins spilling out of every room, slippers piling up at the door in a heap nobody could sort by owner.

A Sadhya was being prepared. Men were decorating the house with garlands. Raghu was scraping coconut and comparing the busy life of Mumbai with the serenity of Kerala.

“When is Rajesh Aliyan’s flight arriving?”, Raghu was asking Nikita about her husband.

Aami and Dev had just grabbed a handful of banana chips and were running, and Nikita was scolding them about running between people.

In the kitchen, aroma from the erissery, injimpuli and aviyal wafted into the home’s air. Someone was enquiring about the payasam.

Six-year-old Riya was sitting at the base of the stairs, silent. Her eyes moved from person to person. Everyone was doing something.

In the front room, Karthika, the oldest of the cousins — was helping Ammamma go through an old trunk, and doing it the way she did everything, calmly, quickly, each item finding a place almost the moment her hands touched it.

“This goes to the top shelf, this one we can give away, this stays” — decisions dropping from her like they cost nothing at all.

In the corner, Vidhu had brought his whole action figure collection in a proper carry case, laying them out on the floor in a straight, satisfied row. “Six of them, I have all six now”, he told anyone who would listen, and someone always did, because his certainty was the kind that pulled people in.

Near the window, Shreya sat cross-legged with a small pile of things from the garden — a curled leaf, a bit of wire she’d found near the gate, a stone with a ring around it — turning each one over slowly, already somewhere else in her head, already seeing what they might become.

And in the kitchen doorway, Nikita Ammayi stood with a cup of tea, watching her own children, Dev and Aami, chase each other around the dining table, talking to Raghu Valyachan about nothing in particular.

Riya watched all of it from the stairs, and felt something tighten in her chest that she didn’t have a word for.

Because when Ammamma had asked her, that very morning, to just pick five toys from her toy box to give to Aami.

Riya had opened her box and looked at everything inside, a red car that would zoom forwards if pulled backwards and released, a rabbit with one eye and floppy ears, a clockwork elephant that shook its head and ran in circles and some others. She hadn’t been able to choose even one.

Not because she loved them all so much.

Not because she had plans for any of them.

Not because they held some memory or story.

She just — couldn’t. Every single thing in the box felt exactly as important as every other thing, and picking meant leaving the rest to feel unimportant, and that felt unbearable, though she couldn’t have said why.

She had closed the box and said nothing, and Ammamma had let it go, and now Riya sat on the stairs watching her cousins each hold their small certainties so easily, and felt something like shame settle over her, heavy and unclear.

Karthika knew what went where.

Vidhu knew exactly what he had and what he was still missing.

Shreya knew what things could become.

Riya knew nothing.

She just had a box she couldn’t open and a chest that felt full even though her hands were empty.

“Riya, kutta, you’re not playing?”, Nikita had noticed her from the kitchen doorway and come to sit on the step below her, cup of tea still in hand.

Riya shrugged.

Nikita didn’t push. She sat quietly for a moment, watching the same room Riya had been watching — Karthika sorting, Vidhu counting, Shreya turning her stone over and over.

“You know,” Nikita said finally, “when I was small, I had three drawers full of things. My mother wanted to clear them once. I couldn’t explain why any of it mattered. I just knew it did.”

Riya looked up at her.

“Did you know why?”, Riya asked.

Nikita smiled a little. “Not really. Not then. Sometimes you don’t know why something matters. You just know that it does, and that’s allowed too.”

Riya was quiet, turning this over slowly, the way she turned everything over, too slowly for her own comfort most days.

“Ammamma asked me to pick five toys,” Riya said in a small voice. “I couldn’t.”

“Five felt like too many to choose from?”

Riya shook her head. “Every one felt too many.”

Nikita nodded slowly, like this made complete sense, which surprised Riya more than anything else that day.

“Okay,” Nikita said. “Let’s not do five. Let’s do one.”

“One?”

“One thing. Just for right now. Not forever. We can do the next one after, whenever you’re ready. Or not even today.”

Riya thought about the box upstairs and for the first time all morning, the thought of it didn’t feel like standing at the edge of something too big to cross.

“The rabbit,” Riya said. “I’ll look at the rabbit.”

“Just the rabbit,” Nikita agreed. “That’s enough for now.”

They went up together, and Riya took the rabbit out and held it, and didn’t have to explain why it stayed, and didn’t have to decide anything about the elephant or car or the others.

Downstairs, Karthika was still sorting, certain as ever. Vidhu was recounting his six figures to Aami, who wasn’t really listening but liked the sound of him talking. Shreya had moved on to a second stone, already imagining it beside the first. Achachan was rumbling with laughter at something Dev said about Ammamma’s silver hair.

None of them knew there had ever been a box Riya couldn’t open.

But Nikita knew. She sat with her niece a little longer, in no hurry for the rabbit to mean anything yet, and let that be enough — for both of them, for now.

❤️

Ann’s Insights

How did you enjoy this story? Of all five characters in this series, Riya is the one I recognize most often in the families I work with.

Riya wasn’t holding on out of love, or fear, or a plan she hadn’t shared yet. She just couldn’t choose. Every single thing in the box felt equally important, and picking one meant making all the others feel less so. That’s not stubbornness. That’s a child who hasn’t had enough practice making decisions for herself.

It’s also worth naming what triggered the freeze: being asked to give away five toys to a younger cousin, without context, without preparation, and in the middle of a busy family gathering. That’s a lot to ask of a young child. When we set an arbitrary number and add a social expectation on top of it, instead of teaching generosity, we end up activating anxiety.

Genuine generosity comes from feeling safe, not from being told to. When children see the adults in their lives model the joy of giving — explaining why they’re ready to let something go, what it felt like to pass it on — they begin to understand that letting go can be a positive experience, not a loss.

What Nikita did so naturally was remove the pressure entirely. Not five toys. Just one. Just for right now. And suddenly Riya could move.

Decision making is a practice, not a personality trait. A few things that help:

• Start with one. One item, one question, one moment. The muscle gets stronger with use, not with pressure.

• Notice the body. A sigh before talking about something is worth paying attention to. Things worth keeping tend to make us feel lighter. We sit a little taller, lean forward with interest. Things we're ready to release often feel heavier. Our shoulders drop, a quiet sigh escapes before we even realize it.

• Model it yourself. Let your child watch you decide. Talk through it out loud — why you’re ready, what the memory was, how it feels to pass something on. That’s the most powerful lesson of all.

Watching Riya choose the rabbit was enough. Meeting them where they are is always the best place to start.

Thank you for following along with this series. Sheeba and I have loved bringing these stories and perspectives to you. We’d love to hear in the comments — which character felt most familiar? Which story stayed with you?

Walking past my kids’ bedroom, I noticed their dirty laundry on the floor.

When they were young, I thought nothing of it and would place the clothes in the hamper myself. As time went by, the same pile kept appearing. I started to ask, “Can you guys pick that up? Put it in the hamper, okay?”

Then I watched them walk past it. Again and again.

So I tried a reward chart. For about a week, it worked. Then the novelty wore off, and I found myself reminding my son to check the chart. Now I was keeping track of two things: the laundry, and the system that was supposed to take care of the laundry.

I’ll admit, my discomfort wasn’t only about the mess. It was the conflict between wanting them to take initiative and not wanting to have to repeat myself.

Because I know how it usually goes: a kid waits until you get tired of asking calmly, and you start coming down on them harder. That’s when the clothes finally land in the hamper. But that kind of motivation, based on fear, doesn’t develop anything lasting.

Motivation coming from inside is different. It’s a kid noticing the pile and acting because something in them wants to. Either they feel the benefit themselves, or they feel a sense of pride in their own abilities.

The older they get, the more that gap matters. The more autonomy they want, the less patience they have for being managed, even into something as small as a hamper.

Here’s what that’s looked like across the ages, in our house.

Act One - The Reluctant Toddler

My youngest had a big toy car collection. At the end of playtime, “clean it up” landed nowhere. He’d go quiet, or push back, or just keep playing like he hadn’t heard me.

One day, instead of asking him to clean up, I got down next to him and asked what the cars were up to. Turned out there was a whole story running — a race, a rescue, cars waiting their turn. I was surprised and delighted to learn how big of a world he was creating inside of his head.

“That makes sense you don’t want to clean up. You’re having a lot of fun.”

He nodded. “I wish there’s more time to play too.” I softened my gaze.

Then, excited, I said, “I have an idea!” I grabbed a small notepad, folded it in half, and drew a quick sign: Harry’s Parking Garage.

"Can you be in charge of running the garage and make sure every car is parked by closing time?" I checked the clock and set our visual timer for 10 minutes. "You've got this," I said, and shook his hand. "You take care of the garage, and I'll take care of dinner. I'll see you at the table."

A smile appeared. He started to line up the cars one by one. He wasn’t motivated by the cars going away. He was motivated by having a little bit of power in that moment, running his own garage, which became part of his routine.

Act Two - The Overwhelmed 6-Year-Old

Markers, plates from an after-school snacks, a granola bar wrapper, a couple of toy trains, a handful of coins, and a bunch of loose drawings on his desk.

He knew it was time to clear it off. Today, his shoulders slumped, and he groaned, “There’s too much stuff!”

I was overwhelmed too.

I sat down next to him and put a hand gently on his shoulder. “That’s a lot to look at all at once,” I said. “Where do you want to start?”

He shrugged, so I offered him two options: “Trash first, or the coins?” He picked trash. Wrapper in the trash can, then the plate to the dishwasher. “What’s next, the trains?” I asked.

I offered a little assistance but let him take the lead. He worked his way across his desk from left to right. By the time he got to the markers and drawings, his energy shifted as well. He put away the last few items on his own and was surprised it went by quickly.

Act Three - The Independent Tween

He knew because we’ve talked about this — that one day, his laundry would be all on him, no reminders needed. Today was that day.

He stood at the machine for a second, not moving. Then he started sorting, talking himself through it under his breath. “Dark, dark... light...”

I stayed close enough, but doing my own thing so I wouldn’t draw any attention.

Once he finished sorting, he completed the rest of the steps then piled the cleaned laundry onto the couch. He knows how to fold because he’s been practicing for years. But I sat with him and grabbed all the socks. It was our time to talk while getting things done, together.

What works:

These situations happened over the course of my sons’ childhood. I’ve hit some roadblocks but one thing became clear: rewards and threats don’t actually teach responsibility. They teach compliance, which most often turns into a negotiation, with both of us getting upset.

What built true cooperation and self-reliance was trust, patience, and the right kind of support at the right moment. And I’ve turned what I learned into three tools inside the Dooley Method:

C.A.R.E. stands for Connect, Acknowledge, Resolve, Empower. It’s how we lean into a child’s “no” and find the reason underneath it.

Let’s say a child feels unsure about a task and says, “No, I can’t do it.”

We connect first, noticing the fight-or-flight response and softening our expression and tone to find out what they’re feeling.

We acknowledge what’s there: “It makes sense that you feel...”

We resolve by lowering the risk without taking over: “I’m here for you. We can figure this out together.”

And we empower once it’s done: “You did it. You must feel so proud of yourself.”

S.H.I.N.E. stands for Seen, Heard, Independent, Nurtured, Engaged. It’s what children need to feel while they’re learning life skills and becoming self-sufficient. Here are a few examples:

When a child feels seen, it can sound like: “Wow, your room looks so organized. You must have worked hard at it.”

Nurturing shows up in the harder moments: “That must be frustrating when the toys don’t fit right. Where else can we try?”

And engagement is the invitation forward: “You’ve gotten really fast at folding socks. Ready to try t-shirts? I think you are.”

Another tool I use to motivate children is coming up with acronyms for a task that takes a few steps to complete. For example:

S.W.A.S.H. stands for Sort, Wash, Add detergent, Switch to the dryer, Help with folding or hanging.

You can make up your own for any task with a few steps. Its purpose is to help children build self-reliance until the steps become second nature. Younger kids may need visuals placed where the task happens. Over time they work their way toward remembering the steps on their own.

I’ve spent the last eight years helping frustrated parents calmly gain their kids’ cooperation with these Dooley Method tools.

Imagine your toddler putting away their toys before coming to the dinner table. Or your child, going through a growth spurt, placing a shirt that no longer fits into a bin, without you telling them to.

How would you feel if, six months from now, nagging or yelling weren’t part of how cleanup happens?

In my own home, when I finally stopped the approach my parents used, fear as the motivation, I noticed the tension in my body lift.

I felt more confident in how I was showing up for my kids, and putting connection first meant I got curious about where my stress and their anxiety were coming from.

I wasn’t afraid to lean in when they had a hard time, and through patience and empathy, reached outcomes I never expected were possible without yelling.

If you’ve been pushing through on your own, I’d love to help. Reply and let me know what’s been hardest, or DM me anytime with questions.

❤️

The Developing Internal Motivation lesson below covers:

• The 3 tools above in detail

• More fun ways to motivate toddlers and young kids, how to reach teens

• How to build motivation through routines and visual and verbal cues.

Read more

Some children see possibility where others see mess. This week Sheeba of This, Right Here, a gifted writer who once again brings us into a South Indian home, and paints another picture we can feel in our hearts. And allows me the honor of adding my perspective as a connection-first home organizer and parent educator to bring the story full circle.

If you missed last week’s story about Raghu the Collector, I hope you’ll have a chance to read it. For now, let’s continue with today’s story.

Shreya, the Creative Child.

by Sheeba

Shreya walked home from school the long way, which meant past the empty plot where the grass grew wild and nobody minded if you stopped and looked.

Something shiny caught her eye. She crouched by the fence and turned it over in her palm— a curved piece of blue glass, edges rounded smooth by time, not sharp at all. She held it up to the light. A patch of blue fell across her cream uniform, its edges breaking into tiny rainbows.

“Ayyo, look at this!”, Meera said, from just behind her, and for one second Shreya thought her friend meant the glass.

But Meera was looking at Shreya’s bag, not the glass. The zip was half open, and things were spilling out at the seams — a spool of red thread, three buttons of different sizes, a big dry mahogany seed pod, a bent bit of wire twisted into something like a spiral, a smooth grey stone with a white ring around it.

“You look like a kuppi-paattakkari—a rag-picker. Why do you carry all this junk?”, Meera said, laughing, and the two other girls with her joined in teasing her.

“It’s not junk”, Shreya said quietly, closing her bag.

“Garbage girl”, Ammu taunted, and it stuck, because Ammu was good with words that stuck. Meera and the others laughed harder now, singing in unison “Garbage girl, Garbage girl” and Shreya kept walking, faster, the blue glass still warm in her closed fist.

At home that evening, Valsala aunty from next door saw Shreya crouched near the drain outside the compound wall, picking something out from between the stones.

“What is it now, digging in the drain like a crow?”, Valsala aunty called out, not unkindly, but not kindly either. She was Meera’s grandmother.

“Revathi”, she said to Shreya’s mother later, over the wall, loud enough for Shreya to hear from the veranda, “your daughter is collecting all kinds of rubbish. People will talk. Also, she may catch some disease!”

Shreya sat very still on the veranda step, the new find — a small brass button, green with age — cooling in her palm.

Her mother came and sat next to her.

“Amma, is it rubbish?”, Shreya asked, not looking up.

Her mother took the brass button and turned it over. It had a rose engraved on it. “It’s a button,” she said. “What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know yet,” Shreya said. “I’ll know when I see it next to the others.”

Her mother nodded with a smile and got up to take the dried clothes on the clothesline.

“Then keep it,” she said. “You’ll know.”

That was all. No more questions.

In the evening Shreya’s father, coming in from the shop, added a small tin box to her table. “For the small ones, so they don’t get lost,” he said, and nothing more.

One day, the school announced an arts and science exhibition — students could bring anything related to arts, languages, science. Things they had made themselves.

There would be prizes in each subject for the most innovative exhibit.

The children started chattering among themselves. Exhibits could be made alone or by groups. Shreya sat silently, thinking.

Shreya started working on her exhibit every day after school. The exhibition was two weeks away. She would sit near the window, sorting through the tin box, the cloth bag, the drawer that had slowly filled over the year — glass, buttons, seed pods, wire, stones, a fallen peacock feather from Ammamma’s garden, soda bottle caps flattened smooth by wheels on the road.

She built a tree.

A standing one, twisted wire for trunk and branches. Slowly it took the shape of an old majestic, gnarled tree. Shreya added long pearls and painted pistachio shells for the leaves.

She hung several glass pieces and buttons she had found over the years. It looked like beautiful little fruits in multicolours. For the ground around the tree she added a border of flat soda bottle caps. Finally she added a thin strip of LED light that she had got from Biju uncle’s house that he had not wanted.

When the lights came on, the tree seemed to come alive. The fruits dazzled as a tiny breeze swayed them.

It had taken her four evenings. Her mother would bring her milk and biscuits and leave it on the table without a word. Her father fixed the wire frame once when it wouldn’t stand straight, and then stepped back and let her finish it herself.

On exhibition day, Shreya carried it to school wrapped in an old dupatta, holding it flat against her chest the whole bus ride, terrified of a single branch bending.

She set it on the table assigned to her, between Meera’s neat papier-mâché globe and someone else’s model volcano, and stood behind it, waiting.

Meera walked past first, and stopped.

“Shreya... is that—”, she leaned in close to the blue glass hanging from the branch, “—is that from the plot near the fence?”

Shreya nodded, not sure if this was the start of more laughing.

But Meera didn’t laugh. She was looking at the whole tree now, slowly. The twisted branches stretched out imperfectly. It looked as though it were growing, not made.

A teacher stopped next, then another, then a small crowd of parents drifting from table to table the way crowds do, until there was a proper cluster in front of Shreya’s tree, someone asking “what is this made of,” and Shreya, for the first time all day, finding her voice.

“Everything is something I found,” she said. “A button, a stone, glass pieces, pistachio shells. I just had to wait until I knew where each one belonged.”

Valsala aunty was there too, and she stood at the edge of the small crowd a long moment, looking at the tree, saying nothing this time.

Shreya’s mother stood near the back, not pushing forward, just watching her daughter answer questions with a steadiness that hadn’t been there a year ago. Her father took a photo on his old phone, the tree slightly blurred, Shreya smiling and it remained his favourite photo of her for years after.

Walking home that evening, Meera fell into step beside Shreya, quiet for a while.

“I still don’t understand how you knew,” Meera said finally. “How did you know the glass would look like that, hanging there?”

Shreya thought about it. “I didn’t,” she said. “I just kept it until it told me.”

Later that evening, Shreya caught a glimpse of Meera’s hand reaching through the open window. By the time she ran to the door, Meera was already halfway across the yard.

Shreya found a crumpled paper on her table. She slowly opened it. Inside were three beautiful glass marbles and a toffee, with a note.

“Next time we collect together. Ok?”

❤️

Ann’s Insights

How did you enjoy this story? Shreya is the child I wish every parent could see before they say the word “junk.”

What looks like a collection of garbage to one person is raw material to someone who sees differently. Shreya didn’t know what the blue glass would become when she picked it up. She just knew it mattered. And she was right.

What her parents did beautifully was hold space without needing to understand. Her mother answered a question with a question. Her father added a tin box without a lecture. Neither of them needed to see the vision to trust it. That kind of support is rare and worth naming.

When I work with creative children and their families, organizing the collection matters as much as honoring it. Creative children are often inspired by material before they know what it’s for — and that’s not a problem to solve, it’s a process to support.

But a collection is only useful when you can find what you need. Here are a few things that help:

• Create zones by material. Separate things like fabric, paper, metal, natural objects and store them in a way that preserves their condition.

• Use containers that make sense for the contents. A pull-off lid for small beads leads to spills. A screw-on lid doesn’t. Let the material tell you what it needs.

• Label in a way that works for your child. Not every container needs a text label. A sample of the material glued to the outside works just as well, sometimes better.

• Designate a spot for works in progress. A tray or caddie for an unfinished project means your child can pick up where they left off without starting over or losing pieces.

The goal isn’t a tidy craft room. It’s a space where a creative child can find what they need, when the idea arrives.

What did this story bring up for you? We’d love to hear in the comments. Next week we introduce you to Riya, the last character in our series — and perhaps the most relatable of all.